In the wee hours of Friday morning, anticipation turned to disappointment as Apple pegged the delivery of my newly-ordered Apple Watch to be well into the future, specifically between May 13 and 27.
By Saturday night, I was thinking up ways to buy more, ummm, time.
Let me paint the picture.
One of the supposed benefits of receiving notifications on your wrist is the unmatched ability to inconspicuously sneak a look at information without having to pull out a smartphone.
John Kosner, Executive Vice President, ESPN Digital & Print Media, told me so much in an interview for my upcoming book, The Art of Mobile Persuasion.
“Sports always lead technology because of the urgency and how much people care,” he said. “If the Seahawks are playing a Thursday night game and you are at dinner, you can just look down at your watch to know what’s going on versus having to excuse yourself, and go to the bathroom to sneak a look at your phone. Guys are going to love that. You can already see the TV commercial that can be made for that.”
Perfect. It will be as easy as Sunday morning.
I tested the premise Saturday night in a restaurant with white tablecloths and a wife of nearly 25 years expecting me to pay attention (friends would say that she should know better).
Yes, it was make believe. Of course, there was no Apple Watch on my wrist. But I pretended that there was.
Imagining that something important was arriving on my person – like the fact that a Persicope live video was available showing someone who I barely know walk down a road – I ever so gracefully moved my eyes downward.
It was then that received a different kind of notification. It was one from my wife that more or less said, “Hey, bub, I’m here.”
So I waited a few more minutes and made a second attempt at practicing Apple Watch snacking.
This time, in my mind, I envisioned a notification coming from a quick-service restaurant telling me that meatball subs are on sale. Of course, this is news that I have opted in for and “must have” in a text notification. That is all the more remarkable because I don’t even eat red meat.
My wife gave me the same look that I get when I pass by the dog poop in the backyard without picking it up, one that told me that she is on to me and another attempt at such foolishness will land me in the doghouse.
By now, you may be wondering why I purchased an Apple Watch. I have asked myself the same question. More than once.
It’s not like I feel unconnected. If anything, I’m not nearly disciplined enough to get away from the emails, texts, push notifications and everything else that lands on my iPhone’s screen.
I routinely check my email in the middle of the night, knowing full well that one never wins the lottery or gets just that job offer or consulting gig at 1:43 a.m. Instead, the you-know-what is hitting the fan and I’ve compounded the problem with a ruined night of sleep and that feeling of stress in the neck that should definitely be limited to more “traditional” office hours.
But it’s my profession and I’ve always been keen on knowing something as soon as possible. I tie it back to my journalist days right out of college.
I have about a month to further practice shifting my eyes and acting like I’m intently listening. Unless I can convince Apple to turn back time and to send me my Apple Watch in 2024.
article first appeared on imediaconnection.com http://blogs.imediaconnection.com/blog/2015/04/12/apple-watch-as-in-watch-out-inattentive-slugs/