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An Open Love Letter To BlackBerry

So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day.

Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What’s it look like?

I know what you’re saying. Aren’t you the guy who spewed venom in your tweets over the last several months? And have you forgotten the words you used to describe your BlackBerry Bold and the RIM executives behind it? They weren’t words found in a love letter or in movie lines like the ones above.

But I’m back.

I tried it without you. The list of what I didn’t miss stretches from here in Seattle to Waterloo in Canada.

Web experience? Are you kidding me? I dance every day for my ability to reach the web on my iPhone. I stopped trying to get to the Internet on my Bold two years ago when I missed my flight trying to see if it was on time through my BlackBerry.

Apps? Ummm, do you even have any? And if you do, are there any that will make me forget the innovation put forth by every other handset manufacturer?

So why am I here?

Oh, did I miss my QWERTY keyboard. For nearly a decade, my fingers flowed ever so gracefully, banging out those all important emails.

“Dear Waste Management. Please bring a third receptacle.”

Poetry.

And the push emails. I became ill when my iPhone sent me some emails in real time – AND MADE ME ASK FOR OTHERS.

You do one thing better than anyone. And I can’t quit you.

I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because it’s New Year’s Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

Just one request as we live out our days in bliss.

Throw some Canadian bacon grease or WD40 on the trackball. Don’t make me move out of the house again the next time the damn thing freezes up.

Article first published as An Open Letter To BlackBerry on Technorati.

Tagged with BlackBerry, Mobile.

August 8, 2011 by Jeff Hasen.
  • August 8, 2011
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